I stopped kissing it... and I lost my girls

I stopped kissing david's butt and made it clear that he and I were no longer together so guess what...


I lost the girls AGAIN. never fails. I give my all into making it work but it wasn't good enough. So then I just give up and that isn't good enough either. I need financial help to be able to go to work I need gas money to survive. I need at least 100 bucks for the guardian at litem now since we are back to court we go. All because I don't want to go back into his lies. all lies. We are supposedly working things out and come to find out he is trying to sweet talk some girl in hooking up in town and on his dating websites which was one of the reasons they took my girls in the first place. I have had enough. There was abuse to me my son and God only knows the mental abuse this is doing to the girls and Tristan too. Tristan is in counseling as it is just to help get some of this to go smoothly with school starting and him having to see me in tears every weekend because we get into an arguement. I can not take this stress... that is why I do not like Sundays the last 2 we had his parents involved and they came into my house while my girls were sleeping and TOOK THEM. Just took them right out from my house because I wanted my mom present with his parents when we were going to sit down and "agree" on the kids Monday. I told him write down his 33 things and I would do mine then we all come together since we all get off at a decent hour and I stated mom didn't until 8 and his mom proceeded to state that B**%WQ WASN'T ALOUD IN HER HOME so she was going to come get the kids and take them to her house. Though no where in my court papers does it state they can have them I let them go so cops wouldn't be the ones handing them over. I can't do this without tears. Money has been the issue then to come to find out they are going to put them in the same day care where I had them just that I can't pick them up. Nor would they let me just give them to them in the morning they had to have them and drag them out into the night. It is all about money. David wanted to know why I didn't make any body else responsible for the kids. Patrick or Tristan real blood because that was part of the agreement. I was working when I left Patrick and I could take care of one child on my own and he gave Tristan his name that was our agreement. David blessed me with 2 angels and he wanted to be a part of their life or so I thought. He almost agreed to selling the kids to me... ??? what person in their right mind would do such a thing. He wants my daddy's tool box I told him he could buy me out of my half of the house he then states well does that mean I keep what is in the house? There is my fathers tool box inside that is worth 120,000 dollars. I told him he could buy it from me then he states that is all that is was going to take I told him he could have the car back and I would give him the half of the house... he actually considered it. What a sicko. Then calls me at 11:41pm at night and cusses me out for not telling him where and what was going on with Tristan's school or where he was going... all lies. which he is going to win in court again because he has money and I don't. Again I don't do anything good enough for him. I told him. over and over his schedule and yet he forgets but it is my fault. All of this is about to explode in my face and I have NO control of any of it. I guess that is what happens to poor people that break their back to better themselves so they don't have to ask anyone for help yet since they have asked for it or are use to having it there, but with strings attached it is wrong... oh god help me please please one can only go through so much of this turmoil please just some truth in all these lies. Some justice in this plague of wrongs. My tongue is my nuice and I fall into the rope so many times. with just enough for my toes to dangle so I don't loose all air. less then 2 years I will be making some mad cash and none of these worries or pain will strike me again.