Another Sunday....ugh.

Ugh is for the personal life I promise! Not for the church life. Which they seem to coexist because with out church I would have possibly thought of ways of beheading my ex. Yes MY EX!! Ex. I don't think that is clear enough. I doubt he ever has read any of my thoughts but for some reason he thinks that I would be able to make something of our past. Church allows me to have a way to look beyond the darkness of the 'now' and gives me a sense of being.

It was really strange today I had to be at work from 7-11am and I was with an absolutely fascinating patient. We talked about church and children and how there are sunday people that put on their christian clothes and go to church each sunday and the kids learn about jesus and the bible and His word, but come tuesday or wednesday that Sunday has worn off/away and they loose what they say they are and the kids grow up to be able to accept wrong doings readily because what kids are taught is what they LEARN in the home. We as adults send our kids to school thinking they are learning what they are taught. NO really they aren't they learn what they see on a daily basis. They only see their teachers 5 days a week they see us the parents 7 days a week. This concept scares the heck out of me! My son sees his 'dad' treat his mom like crap and puts mom in tears to a point of rage that words come out that shouldn't be spoken. He sees his 'dad' disrespect his mom in all forms. He learns the tension that is in the home after these episodes. The example that my patient gave me was that the parents were done wrong and the father finally found a way to get the other people back that saturday and in a way they would never know how they got stabbed in the back. I took my example a little further. I went through some horrible emotions today not knowing where my children were at other then to find out that they were in Lake Greenwood where my ex fiance's kid's birthday party was at. no not my ex. My first love. My first love of my life the one that I thought about every day up till I saw him happy with his family. I literally thought about how it would of been if I hadn't left for college and broken up with him. my current ex contacted him trying to get dirt on me. Come to find out why he hates me so much he thinks I cheated on him with a guy from Kinko's. No I only cheated on the most recent. I cheated out of pain and disgust of the current living situation. wrong yes. Most certainly. Would I do it again. No. I will never be in a relationship like i was in either.!!! So how does this all tie together is....

cranking up my life in a focused and guided way. Priority in prayer and dedication to our God. I am not diligent like I should be. I give thanks on days that are rainy and days that are to hot to stand because I am alive and I am able to get out of bed and I can hug and kiss my babies. Do I set aside time to make prayer a sacred time no. If I make prayer a priority I can see how life will have more direction to it. **back to the patient when we are called to change and we don't we suffer greatly. If we go with what life is dealing with us and able to change when the time calls life becomes much greater then what it was.** which I think is a great point to throw in here because with guidance from a power that created this world how can our life not become more then what it is. We do how we have it written to do aka the bible, how can we not over come such minor debilitating life changing experiences. ?? With a given direction we can focus on where we are going. With focus we are able to have priorities but they all go hand and hand. Not so much if you don't like Clemson you are going to hell that kinda hurt but it was good. You had to be there to understand it so next week you are going to have to come to figure out another way to Crank up your life! How are you going to be able to prioritize your life for God? If you pray do you feel that is the only thing you have to do? *hint* NO. Why is my life the way it is if I am praying? Well are you acting on what you say?? Do you ask forgiveness then do the same exact thing you just asked for forgiveness for??? You can't expect God to allow for change if you continue to do things that you ask for forgiveness he gives you that forgiveness over and over again, because he can. He also doesn't have to allow for great things if you don't ACT on your failure to withstand temptation. This is talking alot for me I am glad I am questioning this computer. I think I am going to ask this computer some more stuff and see what magically appears on the screen under my fingers :) ha ha maybe next time. with much love sweet dreams!

OOO Ridge pointe church is where I am able to get all these incredible real life examples of the bible and how it CAN apply to each and every one of us!!! So if you want it first hand come on!!! www.ridgepointechurch.com!