A weekend of loneliness...

Orders are in. I had to relinquish custody of the girls at 6pm Friday July 18, 2008. I met him at Polk County Sheriff's place. Glad I did he of course tried to "talk" again. Which if you don't know any ofthis you know that is all he says he wants to do is "talk" it usually consists of the same thing over and over again and doesn't go anywhere other then alot of hurt feelings and nothing accomplished. alot of aquasitions that get you NO where but many circles of headaches and tears.

Tears wow. that is an understatement. My heart has been removed. My eyes are swollen and my head is spinning in directions I have never known it to spin. I feel like I have been ripped apart and left in the dessert. The heat dries the tears and blood as everything shrivels up to nothing. It is a test of time. A test of how much I trust in the ways of God. I know there is a reason for it. I understand that I don't have a job, but I am going to school for nursing to become more sufficient at having a job so i am not making minimum wage somewhere. Just don't understand why the children are put in the abusers home???

They are there I am here. I do what the judge says and move forward to better myself and do what is right in the eyes of the law. So I can get my babies back. I know I am the better parent and they were growing stronger with me. Staying out of daycare but in time it will show. God please place angels on those babies for their safety and well being.

Pray for them and me while this time is moving by.... then for Tristan that is suffering the most out of us all.