totally amazing!

Ok I know we have talked about being real before but we are going to again. The crazy thing is that the day before I was on the phone with a friend and one of the questions is do you go to church? that was my question... I know church doesn't get you anywhere but it seems the easiest of the questions to get the ball rolling towards God. So we get talking about how hypocritical people are in the church. How fake they are and how they never felt like church reached out to the people it was there for the best fakers to show off.

So Sunday morning we get dressed and go to church (Tristan and I) Tristan goes over to the little man side and I head into shanemus prime's rockstar bar. (will add to that in a sec) The band had it together for the last time with Jason and Paige. Congrats and best wishes to them both they really have touched my life through music. Last sunday we Blasted away this sunday we raised the roof! The band was together and the music was touching inside!! Yeahhh then Rockstar comes on PUMPED up!!! I would of loved to see if the Tigers had WON!! Wow we would of had build a bigger stage he was on fire!!! the message was strong and it came across very clear! I wish we didn't have a time constraint because there was sooooooooooo much that could of been said and could of totally of been worth hearing. The focus was we all need a place where we can all turn to and be Real, Reminded, Accountable, Confronted, and the most important when we leave Encouraged. When we were listening I felt like a piece of string, a piece of string looking for more strings to come together and be woven together to create a strong rope aka community. If you take one piece of string and tie up a horse and the horse gets spooked what happens?? The string will break after enough force! If it is a woven nylon rope the horse will get spooked and that rope will go under lots of pressure but the likely hood of that rope breaking is slim to none. That rope needs to be us. We have to be able to be real with our community of our church because they will remind us to do right and behave and live in the life Jesus wants. Then inside this strong hold we will have someone we trust that says hey, you trust me and I know you and we need to face what has been going wrong in our life and take the actions to change it!!! Then once our community holds us accountable for our Own mistakes then knowing the struggles we will face we go into the world with encouragement. Each day will not be easy I can give you that straight up. I am not sure if there ever is a day that will be easy, but they seem not nearly as hard because we are that single string being pulled to a point of breaking anymore we are all able to share the bad and lift up the good!

Back to the feeling of a bunch of fakers in church. I use to go to a church where I felt that. I would be so consumed of wondering what everyone was saying about me I can not tell you one thing about any of the sermons I have listened to. I was in my teens then and very vulnerable but still the old ladies would come to sunday school each and every sunday at least 30 to more mins to sit around gossip down stairs. ?? hello we are in church. People went all week in pants and t shirts then they break out the BEST stuff out of their closest and expect that if everyone else didn't do that then they shouldn't be there!!! WHICH IS A BUNCH OF JUNK! Sometimes I do not want to get out of my PJ's after busting my butt all week and you will be lucky if I brush my hair but I still should have a right to come and worship OUR GOD the same one that we claim that is our same God the lover and giver why should you look down your nose and call me out because I don't feel like keeping up with the jones! That is how I use to feel. Now. Ha. I love going to church because when you walk in and there are smiles for EVERYONE! young or old. no panites in a wad over what you have on just thankful that you and your friends are there for the same reason! The creator of Heavens and the Earth! You can't possibly go wrong. you can't. His love will surpass any pair of holey t shirt or stainded pair of shoes that you have. Isn't that amazing. Then to have the ability to have a community to turn to in a time of need or a time of celebration! I love being a part of something that is Real and to the point of viewing God as our Father not focusing on the rest of the crazzzzzzzzzzzzzy world around us, but the peace that he offers us all.

I am so very blessed to be where I am in life and there is sooooo many reasons why and how I got here. A lot of you can look at my life and say how can she say that how does she feel blessed when she has her babies taken away from her and is stalked every day of her life.... because those things are so small in the whole picture. My babies will be back to me. I believe it will be taken care of because it is out of my hands I have given it up to higher powers then my own, and for that I am blessed that I can be able to do that. Because I wake up each and every morning and can say thank you for the sun and the rain and the thought that this time apart from my girls is temporary. :)

You are loved. You are loved by someone that loved you before your parents knew you were going to be born. You are still loved.